


What You Can and Can't do

by Coldau



Series: Two of them!? [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Learning how to be a hero means accepting all the things you CAN'T do, Post-Ifrit, Thancred is a bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 16:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20530706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coldau/pseuds/Coldau
Summary: The two warriors of light kill Ifrit, and learn what happens to those tempered by a primal.





	What You Can and Can't do

Ifrit collapses and bursts like glass, ashes and aether scattering into the air. Was it over? They’d won? Truly? Really? Honestly? He looks to Aruwata, who was panting and staring into the sky as if to watch the spirit of the primal ascend to the heavens. Then Hottataru draws his gaze to the ground, where a crystal of light sits- its surface perfect and unmarred. 

He was always a good fighter. It’s what got his name known in the Azim Steppes, it’s what got him noticed and captured in Garlemald, it’s what led to _ this _path he’d tentatively started to tread. 

But to _ face a god down and kill it like a rabid dog? _ It wasn’t something he ever foresaw himself doing. Fighting in a war? Maybe. Joining the ranks of the Twin Adders to help people? Possibly. This… this- it was on another level. 

Taking a stumbling step forward, Hottataru’s jaw clenches in the effort that was ignoring all his burns. He scoops the crystal up and clutches it close. Hydaelyn, mother crystal, where were you going to take him? He wanted to ask her, but he doubted he’d get any concrete answers. So, he stays quiet as the crystal locks into place within the circle that blooms around him, blinking the imagery away and bringing himself back to reality.

“You know, that wasn’t _ that _hard.” Aruwata smirks, ashy smudges on his cheeks standing out. He starts for Hottataru, reaching up and patting him on the shoulder with a huff, “Pretty sure that kraken from awhile back was just about at the same damn level, don’t you think? Ifrit clearly is all show and no bite.”

He pauses.

“But also, I’m pretty sure I have burns in places I never bleedin’ wanted them.” He tacks on, and Hottataru grins, nodding in agreement. Yeah, they were both fried up. Aruwata looked like he’d gotten a few shades tanner, even, “Come on, there’s a few survivors scattered about. Let’s go poke at ‘em, maybe they’ll snap out of whatever revere cast on them.”

The grin on Hottataru’s face slides off, and he looks back at the victims. The Immortal Flames that were there all just were staring forward, their expressions confused. But they would do what they could, until backup arrived. It _ would _arrive, right? 

\------

It’s only when Thancred shows up, that they learn all the fates of those who had been with them. Execution. There was no alternative- it’s that, or they live the rest of their lives devoted to that… that _ thing. _

Hottataru doesn’t take this well. 

It sits in his belly like a hot coal, searing up everything inside him as he looks at the _ massive _ ensemble that was being lined up to be struck down. Why? What had the point of fighting been if they hadn’t even saved _ anyone? _ Did Hydaelyn just put him to this task to show him the horrors of primals? Did she need to _ sacrifice _people to do that? 

Gritting his teeth, Hottataru turns and storms away. 

“Hots, wait, come on-” Aruwata barks reaching out to grab him, but Thancred stops him, “He’s just gonna sulk if we let him go, Thancred. It won’t help the lad any, he’ll just get in a negative feedback loop if we don’t try and snap him out of it. It’s better _ death _ than bloody _ slavery-” _

“I’ll talk to him. For now, try to rest. You have possibly the nastiest sunburn I’ve ever seen on a man. With all those hours you claim having spent out at sea, you certainly _ crisp _easy, don’t you?” Thancred teases, walking off as Aruwata bristles and hisses after him.

“_You face _**_bloody fuckin’ Ifrit and tell me if you don’t come back a little sunburned,_** _you white haired PRICK!_” 

\------

Hottataru sits at the top of Camp Drybone, his legs crossed and hand pressed to his face as he works through everything. This was only the start. He could feel it. There were _ four other slots _ for those crystals to fall into within that other plane of reality. What more would he strive to do? Would he even be able to save anyone? How many would have to _ die _ for his incompetence? What did his _ strength _matter when-

“There you are. I was starting to think you really ran off, you know. Now, a little jog around the desert can do good for clearing a man’s head, but seeing as how you just took down a primal… I think it’d be best for you to _ rest up a little. _ ” Thancred chuckles, his words carrying that jokey lit to them that usually brought a little _ cheer _to whatever situation. However, Hottataru wasn’t really in the mood to be cheered up. He just stares blankly at Thancred, hand sliding from his face to rest in his lap.

That dead eyed stare always gave people pause, but Thancred never seemed to mind. 

“..Alright, I know you would rather have your alone time. Bottling up your emotions is a pastime best done by yourself, after all. However, I think you’re beating yourself up for no reason, friend.” He starts, taking a seat next to Hottataru. Oh, Aruwata probably put him up to the task of _ cheering him up. _

The thought makes his mood dip even further. Which is apparently visible on his face, because Thancred tuts at him.

“Stop, I’m out here on my own volition. Because I know exactly what’s going through your mind. Buzzing like vilekin, threatening to swallow your good senses up…” A soft sigh escapes Thancred as he leans back on his hands, head lolling back so he can stare at the bright desert morning sky. 

“Their deaths were inevitable. That’s part of the reality we live in, the Scions and everyone else who knows the grim truth about primals beyond the catastrophes they bring with them. It’s why they have to be _ stopped _.” Thancred murmurs, “You didn’t even know what was happening, Hottataru. There was no way for you to step in and play hero when you had no foresight for the situation. We didn’t really tell you anything, because we had hoped to stop it before Ifrit was even summoned.” He closes his eyes, and waits.

No foresight? Even then, he- 

“I could have done more. Something. There could have been a way-” Hottataru tries, but Thancred cuts him off with a harsh, but softly spoken rebuttal.

“You couldn’t. There was no way to save them.” he opens his eyes and looks to Hottataru, who flinches away from that gaze, “But, you need to stop dwelling on that. Look to the _ good _ of the situation. You saved _ hundreds _ more by killing Ifrit here and now, before it could be unleashed on the general population. You and Aruwata are _ heroes, _ even if you couldn’t save everyone. This is part of being a hero, too. Accepting where you fall short and continuing to strive onward.” The words rang true in Hottataru’s horns, and he dwells for a moment. 

“I… can’t save everyone.” Was that the lesson Hydaelyn was trying to instill here? That you just had to try your best, and hope that you could save as many as you can? Possibly. This was the start of the journey, the climb to the top of the mountain and already his limbs felt so heavy. Merely thinking about not being able to stop a life from slipping away that he could have reached out and shielded- it made his chest _ ache, _ “You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Besides, I can’t have you taking blame for my blunders anyway. I should have been prepared for that little _ situation _ to happen, but the fact of the matter is I wasn’t.” Thancred seems proud of himself for pulling Hottataru away from his depression for the moment, the corners of his lips pulled in a controlled, but satisfied grin. The coeurl who got the canary, if you would. 

Wait, he blamed himself-?

“I’m going to head back to the Waking Sands and give Minfilia the word about what’s happened here. You better be prepared to get a lot of _ suitors, _ Hottataru. You and Aruwata are going to look mighty appetizing to anyone with a hankering for strong, able bodied men like yourselves, and this story is going to spread like wild fire.” He chuckles, patting Hottataru on the head and waving as he starts off.

Oh, gods. _ Suitors? _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just wanted to do a bit of exercise in learning my own characters a bit better, so here it is. I didn't have a beta, so sorry for mistakes.  
At this point, Aruwata got a crystal from the first event that happened in the game that gave you a crystal, where- as revealed in the last work of the series- Hottataru got his from the kraken.  
I hope that, whoever reads this, enjoys it. Please leave criticism if you need to, I'm trying to improve my writing.


End file.
